How to Write Slow Burn Romance in Fantasy That Wrecks Readers
If you’re trying to figure out how to write slow burn romance, you know it’s not as simple as dragging out the first kiss.
When I started weaving a slow burn into my fantasy novel, nailing the slow burn romance wasn’t easy. I didn’t know how soon they were supposed to “accidentally” touch. Or when it was okay to show jealousy. Or how vulnerable they should get before it all felt too fast.
The slow burn pacing was a challenge.
But done right? A slow burn is magic. The tension. The almosts. The “will-they-won’t-they” that makes readers want to scream (in a good way).
You know what I’m talking about.
In this post, I’ll walk you through how to write slow burn romance in a way that actually works, especially in fantasy. No over-dragging. No insta-love. Just a steady build that hits hard when it finally lands.
- What is slow burn romance
- Why slow burn romances are popular in fantasy
- Set the stage by defining the relationship early
- Build the tension with almost moments
- Show the connection growing
- Avoid the pitfalls of slow burn romance
- Payoff—Make the slow burn worth it
- Key takeaways
- FAQ
- Slow Burn Romance Workbook 🔥
What is a slow burn romance?
Unlike insta-love or quick-fling storylines, a slow burn romance takes its sweet time. The characters might start as enemies, reluctant allies, or even clueless friends.
But over the course of the story, their bond deepens through shared struggles, tension-filled moments, and emotional vulnerability. It’s the kind of romance that builds anticipation with every look, every almost-touch, every not-quite-confession.
The payoff doesn’t come fast. But when it does, it wrecks you in the best way.
Why slow burn romances are popular in fantasy
Fantasy worlds are basically built for slow burns.
You’ve already got sweeping conflicts, dangerous quests, and high-stakes magic. Which means there’s no shortage of external pressure keeping your characters apart, and plenty of opportunities for slow, simmering chemistry to grow between the battles and betrayals.
In romantasy especially, you’ll often see characters from opposing factions, cursed bloodlines, or clashing ideologies forced into uneasy alliances. The romance develops because of the chaos, not in spite of it.
Slow burn romance books like:
A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas
Spark of the Everflame by Penn Cole (SUPER slow burn)
The Serpent and the Wings of Night by Carissa Broadbent
Blood and Steel by Helen Scheuerer…
…all use the fantasy plot to create emotional tension. The romance enhances the story, and the story deepens the romance.
Done right, a fantasy slow burn doesn’t stall the action, it actually fuels it.
1. Set the stage by defining the relationship early
Before your characters fall in love, figure out their starting point.
Are they enemies, reluctant allies, old friends, or strangers thrown together by fate? This groundwork defines the trajectory of the slow burn.
Enemies-to-lovers: Perfect for a fiery, tension-filled romance. Perhaps your knight protagonist is forced to team up with the rogue assassin they despise.
Friends-to-lovers: This setup has a gentler pace but can pack an emotional punch. Maybe your wizard hero has always relied on their childhood friend, but now they’re noticing how their laugh lingers in their mind.
Strangers to lovers: Two characters from wildly different walks of life meet during the main quest. At first, they’re indifferent, but a shared goal forges intimacy.
In slow burn, the starting dynamic is just as important as the final payoff. Once you’ve nailed that, you’re ready to turn up the tension.
2. Build the tension with almost moments
One of the golden rules of how to write slow burn romance is this: it’s all about the almost moments. These are those little interactions where the chemistry sparks, but the timing, the circumstances, or the characters’ fears stop things from going further.
Here’s how to create those moments:
Layer emotional barriers. Maybe one character is nursing a betrayal from a past relationship, or they feel unworthy of love. These internal conflicts slow down the romance while making it more rewarding in the end.
Use external obstacles. Fantasy is full of juicy complications—war, curses, rival factions. Let these keep your characters apart while pushing them closer emotionally.
Add physical proximity. Forced proximity is a tried-and-true technique. Think two characters having to share a cramped tent during a snowstorm or getting separated from the group and relying on each other to survive (cue brooding stares over the campfire).
Sprinkle in misunderstandings. Miscommunications can create emotional depth, as long as they’re believable and not overdone (huge emphasis on the latter, because then it becomes eye-roll worthy). Your characters should occasionally misread each other’s actions or motivations—it’s human, and it prolongs the burn. But don't overuse it.
Example: In a romantasy setting, imagine a thief and a mage arguing over whether to save a village or steal the treasure they came for. Amid their shouting match, they lock eyes for a heartbeat too long. Both brush it off—“We’re too different”—but the reader knows better 😏.
3. Show the connection growing
The heart of a slow burn romance is the gradual, believable development of the relationship. If your characters go from arguing to smooching without showing the in-between, readers won’t feel the payoff. Here’s how to track that growth:
Small gestures over grand declarations. A warrior brushing a strand of hair from a healer’s face during battle prep is far more impactful than a random, sweeping confession of love.
Let them notice each other. They should start picking up on each other’s quirks—how one bites their lip when they’re nervous or how the other hums a song when deep in thought.
Push them to reveal vulnerability. Maybe the cocky prince admits he’s terrified of failing his kingdom, or the stoic sorceress shares the story of losing her family. Vulnerability is the bridge to intimacy.
Show their chemistry. Highlight how the characters challenge each other or bring out strengths the other doesn’t see in themselves. Chemistry doesn’t have to be all fiery banter—it can come through shared values, teamwork, or quiet moments of understanding.
4. Avoid the pitfalls of slow burn romance
One of the biggest challenges in slow burn romance books is pacing. Go too slow, and your readers will lose interest. Go too fast, and you’ll ruin the buildup.
Here’s how to strike the right balance:
Alternate tension and release. Don’t keep your characters in constant standoff mode. Let them have moments of connection—like a shared joke or a brief touch—before pulling them apart again.
Don’t stall the plot. Readers are here for the romance, yes, but they’re also here for the dragons, the magic, or the high-stakes battles. Keep the fantasy plot moving alongside the romance.
Reward your readers. A well-placed kiss (or a brush of the hand) halfway through can keep your audience invested. Tease, but don’t starve.
If you want a little help mapping out all that delicious tension, I’ve put together a 43-page Slow Burn Romance Workbook built specifically for fantasy and romantasy writers. It’s packed with structure, prompts, and pacing tools to keep your readers emotionally wrecked (in the best way).
5. Payoff—Make the slow burn worth it
After chapters of longing looks, “accidental” touches, sassy banter, and almost-confessions, the big moment finally arrives. If you’ve followed the principles of how to write slow burn romance, this payoff will feel earned and incredibly satisfying for your readers.
When crafting this scene:
Let it be messy. A first kiss isn’t always perfect—it can be frantic, hesitant, or interrupted by a wyvern attack. The imperfections make it real.
Tie it to their journey. The payoff should reflect how far the characters have come. For instance, if trust was a big hurdle, maybe the moment of connection comes after one character saves the other in a way that demonstrates they’ve let their guard down.
Make it shift something significant within the characters. Does admitting their feelings strengthen their resolve to face the antagonist? Or make them question their loyalties? Let the romance impact the broader story beyond the moment they finally kiss.
Example: After chapters of mistrust, your rogue and knight finally admit their feelings during a high-stakes mission. Their kiss is interrupted by an explosion that forces them to fight side by side—showing their partnership is just as important as their romance.
Key takeaways
Learning how to write slow burn romance isn’t just about the romance itself; it’s about creating a dynamic relationship that complements your story’s world and stakes.
Here are the biggest takeaways for writing slow burn romance:
Start with a solid relationship dynamic. Whether it’s enemies-to-lovers, friends-to-lovers, or strangers-to-lovers, your characters’ initial relationship sets the tone for the entire slow burn.
Pile on the tension. Use “almost moments” to build anticipation—little interactions where something could happen but doesn’t.
Balance emotional and external obstacles. Inner conflicts, misunderstandings, and external stakes (like wars or curses) should keep the romance simmering while pushing the plot forward.
Show growth gradually. Focus on small, meaningful gestures, character vulnerabilities, and moments of connection that make their relationship feel real.
Keep the pacing just right. Alternate tension with moments of connection and don’t let the romance overshadow the larger fantasy story.
Deliver a payoff that feels earned. The big romantic moment should reflect the characters’ emotional journey and their growth as individuals.
Embrace imperfection. First kisses and confessions don’t have to be flawless—they’re better when they feel raw and real.
Still want your romance arc to hit harder?
The Slow Burn Romance Workbook gives you the tools to build tension, deepen character chemistry, and plot a payoff worth the wait.
→ 43 pages of structure, prompts, and pacing help.
Frequently asked questions about how to write slow burn romance
How long should a slow burn romance last?
Most of the book. In fantasy, slow burn romances usually don’t resolve until the final act—around 75–90% in. Readers want to feel the buildup, not rush to the kiss (or spicy scene).
How do you pace a slow burn romance in fantasy?
Build tension slowly while keeping the plot moving. Use small, emotional moments spaced throughout the story (forced proximity, emotional walls, external stakes) to keep the romance simmering without stalling the fantasy arc.
Should the romance be the main plot in a slow burn?
Not necessarily. In fantasy, the romance is often a subplot, but it still needs to matter. Weave it into the stakes so it grows alongside the main conflict. However, if you’re writing romantasy, then yes, the slow burn romance becomes the main plot.
*Some of the book links in this post are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you decide to buy—at no extra cost to you.
