How to Write Slow Burn Romance in Fantasy That Wrecks Readers
Ah, slow burn romance—the exquisite art of making your readers yearn, hope, and scream, “Just kiss already!” Whether you’re a seasoned fantasy author or a beginner dipping your quill into the romance-in-fantasy genre, learning how to write slow burn romance can be both rewarding and a little maddening.
Done well, it transforms your story into an emotional rollercoaster.
Done poorly, it can frustrate readers or drag your plot into a swamp of monotony.
So, what is a slow burn romance? It’s exactly what it sounds like: a romance that unfolds gradually over time. Tension builds, interactions simmer, and emotions grow until that much-anticipated payoff moment finally arrives.
These romances thrive on restraint, subtlety, and the constant push-pull dynamic between your characters.
Let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of how to write slow burn romance in your fantasy world, with actionable tips, examples, and some realistic advice to keep you on track.
Topics covered in this post:
Why slow burn romances are popular in fantasy
Fantasy worlds are perfect for slow burn romances.
Why?
Because the genre is already built around sweeping conflicts, complex characters, and richly detailed worlds. You’ve got the canvas to craft not only epic quests but also layered relationships that bloom slowly amid the chaos.
In slow burn romance books such as A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas, Spark of the Everflame by Penn Cole (SUPER slow burn), and The Serpent and the Wings of Night by Carissa Broadbent, romance isn’t the only thing happening.
The external stakes—like wars, political scheming, or magical curses—force the characters to interact in ways that slowly reveal their vulnerabilities.
The romance enhances the plot, and the plot pushes the romance.
1. Set the stage by defining the relationship early
Before your characters fall in love, figure out their starting point. Are they enemies, reluctant allies, old friends, or strangers thrown together by fate? This groundwork defines the trajectory of the slow burn.
Enemies-to-lovers: Perfect for a fiery, tension-filled romance. Perhaps your knight protagonist is forced to team up with the rogue assassin they despise.
Friends-to-lovers: This setup has a gentler pace but can pack an emotional punch. Maybe your wizard hero has always relied on their childhood friend, but now they’re noticing how their laugh lingers in their mind.
Strangers to lovers: Two characters from wildly different walks of life meet during the main quest. At first, they’re indifferent, but a shared goal forges intimacy.
In slow burn, the starting dynamic is just as important as the final payoff. Once you’ve nailed that, you’re ready to turn up the tension.
2. Build the tension with almost moments
One of the golden rules of how to write slow burn romance is this: it’s all about the almost moments. These are those little interactions where the chemistry sparks, but the timing, the circumstances, or the characters’ fears stop things from going further.
Here’s how to create those moments:
Layer emotional barriers. Maybe one character is nursing a betrayal from a past relationship, or they feel unworthy of love. These internal conflicts slow down the romance while making it more rewarding in the end.
Use external obstacles. Fantasy is full of juicy complications—war, curses, rival factions. Let these keep your characters apart while pushing them closer emotionally.
Add physical proximity. Forced proximity is a tried-and-true technique. Think two characters having to share a cramped tent during a snowstorm or getting separated from the group and relying on each other to survive (cue brooding stares over the campfire).
Sprinkle in misunderstandings. Miscommunications can create emotional depth, as long as they’re believable and not overdone (huge emphasis on the latter, because then it becomes eye-roll worthy). Your characters should occasionally misread each other’s actions or motivations—it’s human, and it prolongs the burn. But don't overuse it.
Example: In a romantasy setting, imagine a thief and a mage arguing over whether to save a village or steal the treasure they came for. Amid their shouting match, they lock eyes for a heartbeat too long. Both brush it off—“We’re too different”—but the reader knows better 😏.
3. Show the connection growing
The heart of a slow burn romance is the gradual, believable development of the relationship. If your characters go from arguing to smooching without showing the in-between, readers won’t feel the payoff. Here’s how to track that growth:
Small gestures over grand declarations. A warrior brushing a strand of hair from a healer’s face during battle prep is far more impactful than a random, sweeping confession of love.
Let them notice each other. They should start picking up on each other’s quirks—how one bites their lip when they’re nervous or how the other hums a song when deep in thought.
Push them to reveal vulnerability. Maybe the cocky prince admits he’s terrified of failing his kingdom, or the stoic sorceress shares the story of losing her family. Vulnerability is the bridge to intimacy.
Show their chemistry. Highlight how the characters challenge each other or bring out strengths the other doesn’t see in themselves. Chemistry doesn’t have to be all fiery banter—it can come through shared values, teamwork, or quiet moments of understanding.
4. Avoid the pitfalls of slow burn romance
One of the biggest challenges in slow burn romance books is pacing. Go too slow, and your readers will lose interest. Go too fast, and you’ll ruin the buildup.
Here’s how to strike the right balance:
Alternate tension and release. Don’t keep your characters in constant standoff mode. Let them have moments of connection—like a shared joke or a brief touch—before pulling them apart again.
Don’t stall the plot. Readers are here for the romance, yes, but they’re also here for the dragons, the magic, or the high-stakes battles. Keep the fantasy plot moving alongside the romance.
Reward your readers. A well-placed kiss (or a brush of the hand) halfway through can keep your audience invested. Tease, but don’t starve.
5. Payoff—Make the slow burn worth it
After chapters of longing looks, “accidental” touches, sassy banter, and almost-confessions, the big moment finally arrives. If you’ve followed the principles of how to write slow burn romance, this payoff will feel earned and incredibly satisfying for your readers.
When crafting this scene:
Let it be messy. A first kiss isn’t always perfect—it can be frantic, hesitant, or interrupted by a wyvern attack. The imperfections make it real.
Tie it to their journey. The payoff should reflect how far the characters have come. For instance, if trust was a big hurdle, maybe the moment of connection comes after one character saves the other in a way that demonstrates they’ve let their guard down.
Make it shift something significant within the characters. Does admitting their feelings strengthen their resolve to face the antagonist? Or make them question their loyalties? Let the romance impact the broader story beyond the moment they finally kiss.
Example: After chapters of mistrust, your rogue and knight finally admit their feelings during a high-stakes mission. Their kiss is interrupted by an explosion that forces them to fight side by side—showing their partnership is just as important as their romance.
Key takeaways
Learning how to write slow burn romance isn’t just about the romance itself; it’s about creating a dynamic relationship that complements your story’s world and stakes.
Here are the biggest takeaways for writing slow burn romance:
Start with a solid relationship dynamic. Whether it’s enemies-to-lovers, friends-to-lovers, or strangers-to-lovers, your characters’ initial relationship sets the tone for the entire slow burn.
Tension is everything. Use “almost moments” to build anticipation—little interactions where something could happen but doesn’t.
Balance emotional and external obstacles. Inner conflicts, misunderstandings, and external stakes (like wars or curses) should keep the romance simmering while pushing the plot forward.
Show growth gradually. Focus on small, meaningful gestures, character vulnerabilities, and moments of connection that make their relationship feel real.
Keep the pacing just right. Alternate tension with moments of connection and don’t let the romance overshadow the larger fantasy story.
Deliver a payoff that feels earned. The big romantic moment should reflect the characters’ emotional journey and their growth as individuals.
Embrace imperfection. First kisses and confessions don’t have to be flawless—they’re better when they feel raw and real.
Oh, and if you’ve chosen the “enemies-to-lovers” arc and need help mapping it out, we’ve got you covered. Grab our Enemies-to-Lovers Workbook for a step-by-step guide on turning tension and sparks into a roaring fire 🔥.
Frequently asked questions about how to write slow burn romance
How do I avoid making the slow burn feel frustrating or repetitive?
The key is progression. Even if the characters aren’t ready to admit their feelings, there should be small signs of growth with every interaction—whether it’s a crack in their defenses, a subtle shift in how they treat each other, or a new layer of understanding. Avoid rehashing the same conflict without moving the relationship forward. Keep things fresh by adding new challenges, shifting dynamics, or introducing moments of unexpected intimacy.
Can a slow burn romance work if one character is closed off or emotionally unavailable?
Absolutely, but it requires balance. Show why the emotionally unavailable character is that way—whether it’s rooted in trauma, fear, or past mistakes—and let them slowly open up in response to the other character. Their growth should feel gradual and earned. Meanwhile, the more emotionally open character can push the dynamic forward by challenging their assumptions or breaking through their defences.
Is it okay to skip the “big confession” scene in a slow burn romance?
Yes, if it fits the tone and pacing of your story. Not every slow burn romance needs a dramatic declaration of love. Sometimes, quiet moments—like a character staying behind when they usually wouldn’t or making a small but meaningful sacrifice—can speak louder than words. What matters is that the payoff feels true to the characters and emotionally satisfying for the reader.
